You Actually Want to be Here with Us
Last week, I sat across from two eighth-grade girls at a small table in a local restaurant, sunlight stretching across the room. They came in with the kind of energy that I love but that’s often misunderstood. Restless, curious, contagious and lively energy that made me smile.
As we sat there catching up and talking about various things, often all at once, Kiki picked at the edge of her sleeve as the topic of school entered the conversation. How sitting still all day makes her feel tired in her bones. How teachers say she has a short attention span. She shrugged, then stopped herself mid-sentence as I reached out automatically to start to comfort her. “Kiki, I have worked with you for years. I have watched you do some really hard and really challenging things. There is nothing wrong with your attention span.” Kiki smiled at me. “Thank you Ms. Ellen.I just need different things to learn.” Her eyes lit up with the kind of light that shows up when a kid realizes they aren’t broken.
Peyton was leaning back in her chair, used to not being taken seriously in school, but with me she knows that isn’t the case. She was relaxed and smiling.People say she’s loud. Say she doesn’t pay attention but I don’t know that Peyton. I know a gentle, loving, empathetic and highly intelligent and capable Peyton. She didn’t have good things to say about school but when she spoke about her future, her voice was steady. She told me she’d applied to four different high schools, each one chosen because it matched what she cares about and who she’s trying to become. No one had asked her about that before. No one had noticed how hard she’s been reaching for more.
They both talked about FabNewport then. About how, here, they don’t feel like problems to manage or burdens to carry. “You actually want to be here with us,” one of them said, plain and honest.
And in that moment, the room felt full of belonging. Two girls who are too often told to be quieter, smaller, different, sitting exactly as they are. Seen. Heard. Perfect. Enough.